Soundtrack in my head:  Zero 7, "Destiny"

I chose November 19, 2007 as the day to declare myself a Baha'i because it was nineteen years ago this month that I was first introduced to the Baha'i Faith.

This journey began in the Illini Union, the student union of the University of Illinois, where I attended school in the latter half of the 1980’s. The Union was my favorite place to hang out—either with the interesting characters hanging out on the South Patio on the edge of the Quad, or in a cozy chair in the South Lounge. The campus nuclear disarmament group that I headed had an office upstairs, and the foyer always had booths where student groups could promote their activities and causes. I would frequently be at the booths, often discussing politics with whoever was there at the time.

One November day in 1988 I walked through the foyer and spotted a student group I hadn’t seen before—the U of I Baha'i Association. I can’t remember exactly what drew me to their booth. Maybe it was how their banner emphasized the unity of religions. Maybe it was because I was just curious. At that time, I’d had some involvement with the Unitarians on campus, but had not gotten very involved. I approached the booth and spoke with the students there. They were very friendly and invited me to their next meeting.

I remember little about those meetings, except that they were held in one of the beautiful old meeting rooms in the Union. I don't know how many of those meetings I went to. I vaguely remember three faces, one woman with red hair who always smiled and another woman with blonde hair and glasses. A third person was a Middle Eastern looking young man who was involved with another peace group on campus.

At one meeting I do remember, a woman handed me her Baha'i Prayer Book—a pocket-sized book with a green cover—and asked me to read a selection written by Baha’u’llah at the beginning of the book that began with, “Intone, O My servant, the verses of God that have been received by thee…” After reading the passage I felt a strong sense of peace and calm. Then the woman told me I could keep the book. I know that the woman who gave me the book was named Susan because her name was in the book and I still have the book today. 

I continued to think seriously about the path after I graduated from college in May 1989 and moved to Los Angeles. I went to the Baha'i Center out there a few times, and also went to a few dinners held by Baha’is. One of the dinners was in this interesting neighborhood north of downtown L.A., and I seem to remember that the woman hosting the dinner had been a manager of the folk-rock duo Seals and Crofts. Both Jimmy Seals and Dash Crofts are Baha’is, and the hostess kept referring to them as “the boys.” I remember peppering the dinner attendees with question after question. They were graceful with their responses, though one person said “you can search all you like, but you’ll just end up coming back to the Baha'i Faith.” I didn’t take kindly to that remark at the time.

I’d set January 1, 1990 as the day I might declare myself a Baha'i, but on December 27, 1989, while home for the holidays, I visited the Baha'i Temple and after some deliberation, decided that I would not declare myself a Baha'i. I was seeking different things. I was looking for a more esoteric path. I could not see myself giving up drinking. From that point, the Baha'i books on my bookshelf remained untouched almost for two decades.

I continued to have respect for the Baha’is despite choosing not to join them. I found myself liking and respecting every Baha'i I met. The Global Walk stopped at a Baha'i center on the Navajo reservation. And the funny thing is that when I moved back to Chicago, I continued to find myself drawn to the area around the Baha'i Temple—particularly Gillson Beach, which was one of my favorite places to visit and write in my journal. During that time I considered myself a Pagan and later a Mahikari member. At one point I remember a Pagan friend talking about the phenomenon of “lee lines,” lines of spiritual energy that run through the area, and he insisted that one ran from the Baha'i Temple through the Chicago neighborhood of Edgewater, where I was living at the time. I don’t know how true that is. Another time, a Mahikari friend and I exchanged Light under the stars at Gillson Beach. But never at any point did I see myself considering the Baha'i Faith.

Fast forward now to Madison, Wisconsin in early 2006. Shortly after I started my blog in December 2005, I began to look for other blogs I liked that I could read on a regular basis. One of them, Lacey’s blog, was written by a Baha'i woman in Chicago (who would later move to Houston). I discovered the blog as a link from my sister’s website, I emailed her, telling her that I liked her blog and was linking to it. I also told her that I respected the Baha’is and felt that they were spiritual brothers and sisters with Mahikari members. She was very kind in her response. I had no idea whatsoever then that I would leave my religion and join Lacey’s.

But, as I’ve written before, I'd had issues with my spiritual path for awhile. This past August, I found myself wandering on line, reading up on calendars and reading how different faiths and civilizations had their own calendars. I remembered that the Baha’is had an interesting calendar. When I entered “Baha'i calendar” into Google’s search engine, I was surprised to find the website of the Madison Baha'i Center. I had not realized that Madison had a center. I decided that it might be worth re-exploring the Baha'i Faith. So once again, I picked up the book “Baha’u’llah and the New Era” and started reading. This time, I found myself moved more than I had been before.

On the rainy morning of the 19^th of August, I showed up at the Madison Baha'i Center. The rest is history—much of which is recording on this blog.

I want to thank the Madison Baha’is who have made me feel quite welcome, particularly the ones who have been willing to listen to my story and answer tough questions. Thanks to the woman who dragged herself out of bed on a rainy Sunday morning to find a seeker standing outside the Baha'i Center. I would also like to offer thanks to my Ruhi Book One tutor who answered my questions, helped me with my first devotional service and was kind enough to buy me a copy of "The Hidden Words" by Baha'u'llah and give me a commerative postcard marking the opening of the Terraces of the Shrine of the Bab.  I like the spiritual community that I’m joining.

I want to thank Lacey in Houston for her support and encouragement. You knew, didn’t you? I think you knew that I was contemplating the Baha'i Faith before I did—a full year before. You scare me, you lovely freak.

Thanks also to George Wesley of Baha'i Views for his recognition and encouragement.  It was a slightly giddy feeling to see my declaration post re-posted on his site in its entirety--even with a graphic of the album cover of the group whose song was going through my head when I wrote that post. 

I want to thank the Los Angeles Baha’is for putting up with my million questions while I ate their dinners back in 1989.

Finally, I want to thank the Urbana Baha’is I met nineteen years ago this month. When I opened “Baha’u’llah and the New Era” this summer, I was surprised to read the following inscription:

Thanks to the members of the student Baha'i organization who decided to come to that booth that one day nineteen years ago, and who invited me to their meetings, and who gave me a copy of that book.  It was a new book then, but the pages have yellowed considerably since. But it was available when I was ready to read it again. Maybe there are people who remember me—if you were part of that student group in Urbana, I can tell you that I had long blond hair then and headed up a peace group. Thanks to Susan, whoever and wherever you are, for giving me your Baha'i prayer book. The cover is a little worse for wear after multiple moves and years on my bookshelf, but it’s in pretty good shape nevertheless, and I am using it daily now.

It took me a while…but now I’m here.